On the Subject of GTD

Me: That's exactly what I hate about GTD.
Me: 10,000,000 TextExpander shortcuts and AppleScripts and rules.
Me: So GTD means managing all that shit.
Me: Wow, way to get nothing done.
Bill Griesau: It's too much. Way too much.
Me: For me, I've found the best system is:
Me: 1. Add item to list.
Me: 2. Do the thing or delete it.
Me: And that's it. No really-long-term planning, no complex organizing or categorizing or automating.
Me: Just HERE ARE THINGS.
Me: And DO or DELETE.
Bill Griesau: Let your mind naturally decide what to do and write it down now so you don't forget it then.
Bill Griesau: DO or DELETE, and if DELETE and you think it's important, oh well—it will come back up if it really is important.
Bill Griesau: Unless it is "pay Bill Griesau for working". Then, don't delete that.
Me: And I do have one more stage, which is DO LATER, which happens naturally in that sometimes I look at my list and think, nah, not now.
Me: So I just drag something else higher on the list.
Me: And when I need something to do, i just look at the list, and do the first thing if I can. If not, the second, etc.
Me: I'm certain GTD works for thousands of people.
Me: But for me, it's just masturbation.
Me: And frankly, I'd rather spend that time actually masturbating if I have to choose between it and GTD masturbation.
Me: At least one feels good.
Bill Griesau: We already have masturbation, it's called *masturbation*.
Me: Man, that quote's got LEGS.

Horatio

Shawn Morrison: I wonder how my mayo consumption compares to the per capita average.
Me: I can't believe it's more than mine.
Shawn Morrison: It's a lot.
Shawn Morrison: Too bad there isn't Nike+ for mayonnaise.
Dan Wineman: You guys should volunteer for a study.
Dan Wineman: At the...
Dan Wineman: (sunglasses)
Dan Wineman: Mayo Clinic.
Me: YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH

I was all, “Fuck you, Adobe, I don’t want to use Creative Cloud just let me buy an upgrade!” but then I was like, “Wait, whaaaaaat! Finally, I can edit the corner radius of a rectangle path! Here’s my money, Adobe, Cloud me up good!” but suddenly I’s all like, “Hey you should have had this like six years ago you cunts!”

Sometimes I Get Email

From: Chris Long
To: Garrett Murray
Subject: I love you, here’s proof

actually, i USED TO love you.

now: baby baby baby baby baby.

guess what: i don’t care. AT ALL. AT ALL.
and i know that you don’t care AT ALL about my baby apathy.

so: goodbye. it’s been great reading your stuff.
until now.

From: Garrett Murray
To: Chris Long
Subject: Re: I love you, here’s proof

I printed this out and hung it above Oliver’s crib, because I want to use it as a harsh reminder that he doesn’t matter and he’s boring and we all wish he would SHUT UP AND GO AWAY.

Anyway, I get you. It’s gonna be like this for a while. I’m not going to stop posting baby stuff (because I am, you know, proud and happy), but I will be posting more non-baby stuff as well. It will ebb and flow. But if you hate my baby (*sob*), the mixture will probably drive you nuts.

But I still love you.

And one day my son will avenge me. SO WATCH YOUR BACK.

DUDE, I GET IT ALREADY YOU DON’T HAVE TO TELL ME EVERY 4 MINUTES IT’S NOT AN EMERGENCY WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S AN EMERGENCY OH SHIT SERIOUSLY MY PRO APPS QUICKTIME CODECS ARE OUT OF DATE FUCK ME YOU’RE RIGHT I BETTER DROP EVERYTHING AND RESTART RIGHT NOW

Regarding that Klout Knife Fight Perk

Me: [I just received a ridiculous Klout perk to watch Knife Fight, which is apparently an "underground cooking competition".]
Shawn Morrison: Would be perfect if it was actually a show about knife fights. (Perfect for you.)
Dan Wineman: Better yet, a show about pro chefs knife fighting. Like a cooking contest where you can either make the best souffle or you can stab the other guy.
Shawn Morrison: Gordon Ramsey vs The Barefoot Contessa. To the death.
Dan Wineman: Exactly.
Dan Wineman: "Let's see if Alton Brown can whisk up a perfect hollandaise... while fending off Guy Fieri's Blades of Crispy Guy-talian Death."
Me: "You're watching Food Network: Today's best and brightest chefs, all murdered in knife fights so it's hard to tell what we'll be doing in 6 months."
Dan Wineman: But what a glorious 6 months it would be.
Me: Indeed.
Me: I can't stop picturing Rachel Ray, whimpering and covered in blood and flesh, standing over Paula Deen's enormous corpse, holding her severed head.
Me: Then again, that was the case before this conversation.
Shawn Morrison: Rachel Ray would totally be the last one standing. Still just smiling like an idiot.