Maniacal Rage

• Shawn Morrison: Well, assuming you have at least one other pair of shoes, I say you forget Mr. UPS and go see if my package is there.
• Me: Well, see, therein lies the problem. Because I knew I had shoes being delivered today, I went and burned all my other shoes.
• Me: Stupid idea, sure, but it made sense at the time.
• Shawn Morrison: Did it?
• Me: Alright, fine, it didn't.
• Me: I'm trying to secure cats to each foot to use as temporary shoes, but they're not cooperating.
• Me: It's also surprisingly hard to balance while standing on guts.