An Email From My Sister
My Dearest Brother,
I am writing to inform you that my life as a “free bird” will be coming to an end. I have recently discovered your astounding statistics, as illustrated by the overlapping circle flow chart on your website, and come to the shocking realization that I am a serial killer. I know what you may be thinking, “How can this be?” or “This is just simply not true!” or most probably, “She’s too ‘vanilla’ to go to prison.” And you are right about almost all of those things (except for the fact that I am relatively “gangster”).
Unfortunately, statistics never lie. I know this because I have a degree in Psychology. I spent four years studying correlation and causation and I know, without a shadow of doubt, that once data is entered into a graph, it is obviously irrefutable.
So, it is with great sadness that I inform you of the inevitable. Had I never seen that graph, there is a possibility I could have avoided “the clink”, but now, I just don’t see how that is possible. With thoughts of Greased Lightening and severed limbs on my mind, I leave you with my final words:
Sayonara, my dear brother. Sayonara.
Your loving, yet serial-killing sister,
Ashley