An Email From My Sister
Dear Brother,
Thank you for your recent correspondence. I enjoyed reading your exciting news about your newly aquired sweater. I regret to inform you that I will not allow you to wear said sweater on the day of my nuptials. I feel as if you are attempting to “steal” the spotlight on my very important day, and judging by how eloquent this sweater appears to be, it is inevitable that this will happen. I have decided I will wear the sweater instead and you will wear my wedding gown. I feel it is only appropriate that you hand over the sweater, without argument, since I am the bride and should get whatever I ask for.
With regard to your other questions: The reception hall does not have full-length bathroom stalls—there are no bathrooms at all (those came at an extra cost, which we did not feel we could bear after spending an excessive amount of money on pole dancers for live entertainment). Also, I’m not sure why you think you will be offered a beef entree? The guests are being served potato skins and fish tacos… sorry for any previous miscommunication.
I am very excited for Wednesday, at which time you will hand over your garment to me.
Thank you, dear brother.
Your loving sister,
Ashley
