This is Garrett Murray's Maniacal Rage

Anonymous asked:

Do you ever let your wife eat food?

Only after she does all the dishes, cleans her room, and gets her homework done. And even then I only let her eat a little bit, and no dessert. Sometimes, on weekends, I don’t let her eat at all just to remind her who’s boss around here. I’M THE BOSS. I CONTROL THE FOOD.

(Actually, she eats plenty. She’s just naturally ridiculously thin and attractive. No matter how much I berate her or hide the food, she still eats and she still looks like that. I swear, I’m not starving her.)