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Maniacal Rage

Here are my most recent posts:
∞ 16 Jul
129

#apple
#iphone 4

Transcript of Today's Apple iPhone 4 Press Event

  • Apple: The iPhone 4 has the same problems all other phones have when you hold them, we just made the mistake of pointing out that our antenna design was better than anyone else's, even though we knew when you held it it would turn to shit. Oops. Basically, we shouldn't have to be any better than anyone else, because all phones suck.
  • Users: But we're dropping calls.
  • Apple: Yeah, but only one more than normal. So shut up.
  • Users: Right, but when I'm talking to a client and--
  • Apple: And look, we'll give you a Bumper for free. They're normally $29, but we're gonna make you schmucks happy and give you all a free one. That will solve this problem.
  • Users: But you can't use the dock with a Bumper, and you can't use most of the car accessories with a Bumper, and the Bumper makes it hard to put the phone into your pocket which means you're more likely to drop it, and--
  • Apple: Free Bumpers. Shut up.
  • Users: Okay, what about the proximity sensor?
  • Apple: Yeah, yeah. Stop complaining about that. We're working on a fix for that and we'll release it at some point.
  • Users: So in the mean time, we'll drop calls without a Bumper and we'll put people on mute and speakerphone accidentally with the proximity sensor issues.
  • Apple: Yes. The iPhone 4 is the best smartphone on the market.
  • Users: But what about--
  • Apple: Did you see the fucking charts? Shut up.
∞ 15 Jul
57

#iphone 4

The iOS 4.0.1 Update is Complete Pants

While in LA this week, I dropped at least 50% of my phone calls. While at home, I drop at least 25% of my calls. My proximity sensor turns my screen on and off throughout calls, which activates the hidden features I like to call Putting People on Mute Accidentally™ and Touching the End Button In the Middle of Client Calls™. I’m left handed—hold the phone, lose coverage, data stops working. Incoming calls via Bluetooth? Garbled.

Hey! Apple has a solution! It’s called iOS 4.0.1. The update is out today! Check out what it fixes: It changes the 5-bar graphic used to display signal strength visually to have bigger bars on the low end, and it also shows that when you thought you were getting 5 bars before, you were actually getting 1! Awesome! PROBLEMS SOLVED!

I’ve never been so completely disappointed in Apple. I genuinely believe Apple knew from the beginning their antenna design was flawed and would cause issues. I believe that’s why they used bullshit math to show an incorrectly positive number of bars, and I believe that’s why they designed the Bumper. They figured enough people would buy the Bumpers on launch day and with the falsely-reported 5-bar signals displayed to users, people wouldn’t notice the iPhone has a terrible time holding onto a signal when in your hand.

This press event tomorrow had better be fucking magical.

∞ 8 Jul
7

#mrpc

afteraether asks: "So it's been more than a year since the last MRPC... Why do you hate America?"

I don’t hate America, although I do hate that 90% of the questions I’m asked via Tumblr are about the podcast (nothing personal to this specific question-sender). Here’s the deal: It’s on the back-burner. We’re very, very busy with all sorts of other ventures, including a new web show which will be premiering soon, as well as several other film projects. The podcast, while fun, takes a lot of time and energy to create. I know that seems ridiculous, since it sounds very casual, but we don’t do anything without doing it as best we can. Editing audio, writing audio sketches—it all takes time.

I’m very flattered that everyone loves the show so much that I’m still getting asked repeatedly when the next episode will be, but I can tell you right now, it’s not going to be any time soon. That’s not the answer people want to hear, but it’s truth.

In the mean time, there are many other things coming down the pipeline that I think you’ll enjoy.

→ Ask me a question

∞ 7 Jul
15

#ego
#release
#iphone 4

Ego 2.1.4 Now Available I’m thrilled to announce a new version of Ego with all-new high resolution images for iPhone 4 is now available. In addition to graphics for the Retina display, this version of Ego contains the following fixes: Tumblr users with + in their email can now create widgets Fixed Squarespace widget issues Miscellaneous minor bug fixes A new version of Ego for iPad was also released containing the above fixes, as well as a fix for Vimeo auto-login and better swiping detection. Go get ‘em!

Ego 2.1.4 Now Available

I’m thrilled to announce a new version of Ego with all-new high resolution images for iPhone 4 is now available. In addition to graphics for the Retina display, this version of Ego contains the following fixes:

  • Tumblr users with + in their email can now create widgets
  • Fixed Squarespace widget issues
  • Miscellaneous minor bug fixes

A new version of Ego for iPad was also released containing the above fixes, as well as a fix for Vimeo auto-login and better swiping detection. Go get ‘em!

∞ 6 Jul
83

#comics
#iphone 4

New iPhone This could easily describe every relationship I’ve ever had. But I don’t think it’s my fault. I think it’s them. IT’S NEVER ME.

New iPhone

This could easily describe every relationship I’ve ever had. But I don’t think it’s my fault. I think it’s them. IT’S NEVER ME.

∞ 5 Jul
4

#holiday
#photography

Pool Entrance

Pool Entrance

The Pool

The Pool

Making S'mores

Making S'mores

4th of July, 2010 (View bigger at Flickr)

The blistering heat did nothing to stop us from enjoying the holiday weekend. Swimming, BBQ and s’mores. Nothing says independence quite like lounging in a big box of water before melting marshmallows over an open flame. USA! USA! USA!

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