Remember this shit? Do you think that woman killed herself after this was released? Also note: Luckily this motion picture is available on Laserdisc!
Here’s to being… (via someecards.com)
For some reason this feels especially appropriate to me today. I don’t know why.
And I completely agree. This has happened to me a few times in quiet situations and it’s very frustrating. Silent should mean COMPLETELY silent.So one of my biggest pet peeves with the iPhone is that the silent switch doesn’t truly silence the phone. If the iPhone is set to silent mode, phone rings and all alert sounds are silenced, but the iPod is NOT…
This is compounded by the fact that, once you leave iPod or lock the phone it takes a few taps to get back to a place where you can hit pause. When I’m frantically trying to silence my phone I should be able to access some kind of “panic button” to instantly quiet the phone. One would think this would be the silent button. At the absolute least, this should be a preference. Someone fix this. Someone fix this immediately.
An Email From My Sister
Dear Brother,
Thank you for your recent correspondence. I enjoyed reading your exciting news about your newly aquired sweater. I regret to inform you that I will not allow you to wear said sweater on the day of my nuptials. I feel as if you are attempting to “steal” the spotlight on my very important day, and judging by how eloquent this sweater appears to be, it is inevitable that this will happen. I have decided I will wear the sweater instead and you will wear my wedding gown. I feel it is only appropriate that you hand over the sweater, without argument, since I am the bride and should get whatever I ask for.
With regard to your other questions: The reception hall does not have full-length bathroom stalls—there are no bathrooms at all (those came at an extra cost, which we did not feel we could bear after spending an excessive amount of money on pole dancers for live entertainment). Also, I’m not sure why you think you will be offered a beef entree? The guests are being served potato skins and fish tacos… sorry for any previous miscommunication.
I am very excited for Wednesday, at which time you will hand over your garment to me.
Thank you, dear brother.
Your loving sister,
Ashley
Bill O’Reilly vs. Level 3 of Battletoads (via danhacker)
This was one of the worst levels in the history of gaming. I remember FREAKING THE FUCK OUT when trying to beat it. As I was watching this, I was laughing my ass off, and then I had a good cry because I’m still scared from that fucking game.
An Email to My Sister
Dear Sister,
I received your email with the subject, “Tuxes” this afternoon. I enjoyed hearing from you, and I have a response to your query about a possible Wednesday tux pickup. Unfortunately, it won’t work for me because I don’t think I would like to wear the tux.
I found an amazing sweater yesterday at Daffy’s and I think it looks very classy. With your permission, I’d like to call the tux place and cancel my order and then wear the sweater (forrest green with mauve cuffs and tulle) at the wedding. I may also wear it for most of the reception, assuming I don’t get overheated (as I’m likely to in a sweater under the lights and on the dance floor, especially if the music is really lively and if I have the beef dish). I will wear a tasteful under-shirt so that if/when I have to remove the sweater later in the evening I won’t look foolish standing next to people dressed in formal attire. I have several pant options I can run by you at your earliest convenience.
Assuming you are on board with this “costume” change (which I hope you are!), I would still like to see you at 4PM on Wednesday, regardless of me not needing to pick up the tux. I will probably bring the sweater with me and put it on for you, so that you might be able to visually confirm in person (a “dry run,” if you will).
I look forward to seeing you Wednesday, and might I also add an early congratulations on your impending nuptials. I think when people see you in your wedding dress, they are going to be very complimentary. I can only hope my sweater will garner me similar sentiments (although not nearly as many, since it is your day after all).
Your friend and brother,
Garrett
PS—Does the reception hall have restrooms equipped with full-length, private toilet stalls?
I was traveling when the tomatoes/salmonella story broke, and I didn’t hear about it until yesterday, after eating several sandwiches with tomatoes. Oops. And now I’m sitting here staring at a new pack of Campari tomatoes and I REALLY want to eat them. I hope they’re safe!