September 2008
21 posts
WatchMichael Phelps’s Poor Sportsmanship
August 2008
36 posts
Me: So i'll probably leave here around 6ish.
Me: Maybe a few minutes fater.
Me: Um, after.
Shawn Morrison: LOLing here.
Shawn Morrison: What if you showed up fat?
Shawn Morrison: Honestly, I'd laugh in your face.
Me: I would expect nothing less.
Shawn Morrison: I'd also punch your new gut.
Shawn Morrison: Anyway, I'm heading out now.
Shawn Morrison: So you'll probably get there 7 or so?
Me: Yeah, hoefully.
Me: Oh for the love of god.
“You’re the shit and I’m knee-deep in it.”
– “Backwards Walk” by Frightened Rabbit (see also: Ryan’s text art of this lyric)
Me: I was getting bit by mosquitoes a lot in the beginning of summer.
Me: Not so much now.
Sean Madden: Is it because you shaved your entire body?
Sean Madden: You know, you are not Michael Phelps.
Me: Well, that and I started drinking deet.
Sean Madden: Probably wise.
Me: Doesn't seem to have been harmful and it's keeping away the bugs.
Sean Madden: Yeah, and you might live forever.
Me: Unrelated question: How many times per day is it okay to piss blood?
Can someone explain to my why it takes SO GODDAMNED LONG to update applications on iPhone via iTunes? Tonight I updated 5 apps and it took over an hour. I’m watching this progress bar just absolutely CRAWL and I’m wondering how on earth it could possibly require this much time.
Applications aren’t that large—aside from Texas Hold’em, which has lots of video content...
Things that have been smashed or stopped working in the last three days: My car (this actually happened Wednesday but I didn’t find out until Saturday night), my 23-inch Cinema Display, one of my backup hard drives, my iPhone 3G, the very watch I was wearing today.
Okay, so the car is in the shop and will be fixed and I won’t have to pay for it, and the Cinema Display is still under...
“I write erotic novels… for children. They’re wildly unpopular.”
– Phoebe’s date Jim in Friends: “The One With The Tea Leaves”
From the end of a very old argument I found in an...
Friend: Fine, I won't redesign then.
Me: I don't want to argue about it any more, it's not worth it. I have my own things going on, however you design your site is up to you. But I'm not going to argue about the specifics of how your site is clearly a rip of mine. Do whatever you gotta do.
Friend: Don't be a dick.
Me: Not trying to be a dick. Seriously, just do whatever you want. In the end it doesn't matter.
Me: It's all the interweb, open a socket and uplink the ports.
Friend: What the hell?
Me: I was playing Tron 2.0 earlier.
I’ve got a workshop coming up at the Web 2.0 Expo New York in NYC entitled “Designing and Developing for the Future of Mobile,” September 16 from 9AM-12PM. I’ll be talking about designing and developing for mobile WebKit, iPhone, Android and more, and giving practical advice and examples of how to maximize your mobile websites for modern devices.
If you’re attending...
“Everything I’ve ever done has taken me longer than I thought it would.”
– John Gruber
This explains life pretty much perfectly, especially this month as I work 14-hour days to finish a project.
Shawn Morrison: Is that the eye I jammed a screwdriver into?
Shawn Morrison: Hmm, interesting slip.
Shawn Morrison: *You* jammed a screwdriver into?
Me: No, it's not. It's my right eye.
Me: It's the eye I poured hot spaghetti sauce into yesterday with a funnel, but I don't think that's related.
Shawn Morrison: Yeah that's way after.
Shawn Morrison: But you really need to stop using those funnels.
Me: Why does everyone keep saying that????
Shawn Morrison: Well it would be fine...
Shawn Morrison: Except you keep setting up elaborate hot dishes and pointing the funnel at your eye.
Shawn Morrison: Which honestly just seems like you're asking for it.
Me: How do YOU eat dinner, mister smarty pants?
Shawn Morrison: I point the funnel into my pants.
Shawn Morrison: Wait, what was the question?
Me: You wear pants when you eat?
Me: I don't see the point.
Me: It's so much easier to clean slop off your bare legs.
Shawn Morrison: Such a mick thing to say.
“This morning I woke up to a huge, NYC-sized cockroach in my bathroom sink for...”
– Jessica Schroeder: La Coocarocha
This is particularly apt for me right now as lately, for the first time in 6 years, there have been bugs in the entranceway of my building. Luckily, not in my apartment (PLEASE GOD I HOPE NEVER), but they’re HUGE. Entering/leaving my building currently feels a...
The majority of today’s Fresh Direct grocery delivery:
Fruit (strawberries, plums, peaches, grapes and a whole honeydew melon)
Juice (apple, Red Jacket Orchards’ raspberry apple, POM pomegranate blackberry tea)
VitaminWater (focus, defense and revive)
Toilet paper
Apparently my plan is to eat lots of fruit and then spend most of the rest of my time in the restroom.
Another call for art! I need to fill up my blank walls. Help me! Seriously, get off your ass and help me! I’m looking for cool prints, art, etc. I have green walls in my living room and blue in my bedroom. They’re all very blank. You people out there with good taste and ideas send your taste and ideas to me so I can put them on my walls. Email garrett at maniacalrage dot net. DO IT.
Me: "I'm a huge fan of the South Jersey Strangler. That was the year he began his work."
Me: And so on.
Shawn Morrison: So weird, I've often thought, "If I ever find a time machine I'm going to go back to 1971 and kill a bunch of people in South Jersey."
Shawn Morrison: I'm sure there's no connection.
Me: Ummmmmmm
Me: Your middle name is Frank, right?
Shawn Morrison: Of course.
Me: Whew--that was a test. Because the strangler's middle name was Chris or Christopher or something like that.
Shawn Morrison: Oh and on a sidenote, don't you think strangling is the ideal way to punish a promiscuous teenager?
Shawn Morrison: Just strikes me as "right"
Me: OH NO
Shawn Morrison: WHAT, ARE YOU CONNECTING DOTS, I DON'T GET IT?
Me: No, I just spilled my juice.
Me: Sorry, what were you saying?
“Do not speak to me when you see me. If I want to speak to you, I will do so. I...”
– Edward Mike Davis, Owner, Tiger Oil Company (via smadden)
“If you don’t like something, you don’t have to read it!”
– Jessica Schroeder: The Internet is Magic!
I managed somehow to break Final Cut Pro this weekend, such that it will no longer allow me to batch/capture from my little HD camera. This means, until I get it fixed, I cannot release the new Qwick Review that’s sitting on it, waiting to spread its wings and fly (or something like that, only internet-related).
I think I probably messed it up when I installed some drivers for the P2 cards...
WatchWestern Spaghetti
Shawn Morrison: Key thing we need: A woman's muffled screaming.
Shawn Morrison: You think you could acquire that over the weekend?
Me: Yeah.
Me: I'll just go outside with a recorder and stab some lady.
1 tag
A friend asked me the other day whether or not I found it difficult to keep my apartment as neat and organized as I do. My answer was no, but really it’s yes, then no. It’s difficult to GET organized, not terribly difficult to STAY organized. In fact, being neat and organized has several benefits that are self-sustaining.
Once you organize everything and find a place for all your...
Reporter Friend: [From Beijing] Jesus, I feel like some vile hardcorn porn right about now.
Me: See, that's what it does to you.
Me: Makes you want to be bad.
Reporter Friend: Amnesty International?
Me: No, LACK of Amnesty International.
Reporter Friend: "Lord help me..."
Reporter Friend: "Why does the notion of basic human rights gives me the urge to masturbate all day?"
Reporter Friend: And with that, I've reached my goal for the day, of linking Amnesty International with masturbation.
Reporter Friend: I win.
Me: Well done, sir.
“To compete, CNN will begin calling Wednesdays ‘Wolf Blitzer Beard...”
– CJR: Super-Duper Tuesdays
A joke I contributed to the end of this CJR story, for which I am not credited.
TimeMachineEditor →
Allows you to set the interval schedule (or custom calendar dates) for Time Machine backups. Thank god! I was so sick of them running every hour and consuming power/memory/processor when it wasn’t necessary. This is great! (via fling)
WatchAggressive Dealership Ad
This is so spectacularly random and weird and hilarious.
“He told me I didn’t have to move it, then the tree guys show up and they...”
– A woman on my street, complaining about having to move her car for two days because of tree trimming, which happens once every three years